IndusTree Parenting Law Group

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Thank you so much

Thank you so much, My health plan does permit therapy and I am working on that now.

Also does anyone know of a place that I could report the social worker who was Very biased.

It seemed like she made up her mind right when we walked in the door of her home. and her view point of my ex hitting me was,

She told me that I wasn’t bleeding to death and she didn’t shoot me so I should just leave it be because she is a woman, and that if she hits me again to just go across the street and stay out of her way…… and I’m thinking “what the fu21?”

But then she tells me that we just need to get along…..

She did not observe me and my son together at all, and she did not call any of the people that I asked her to, teachers, etc.


Find out if your health plan permits family counseling

Find out if your health plan permits family counseling or psychological therapy. If so, put your son in (he probably could use some anyhow) and then get the counselor’s report admitted into court.

As for the police case, the social worker sounds like an idiot. This is not a professional opinion but I can’t see how a judge would be biased against you for filing a police report after being punched in the face.

Finally, if your previous custody order contained a mandate for your ex to receive counseling, go to court and ask the judge to order her to comply with the previously entered order of the court.

Oh, if your attorney fails to return your calls, ask his secretary if he can spell g*r*i*e*v*a*n*c*e. Attorneys have an ethical duty to return their client’s calls. In certain states, Connecticut being one, they can be publicly reprimanded for failing to do so.


Great point!

Great point!

Basically you are saying that you are one man that stands alone, but you are not. There are millions of men facing the same thoughts, only one thing is holding them all back from doing something about it.

I can say that prayer is the only way to make things right. But that would leave non-believers thinking that I was being overbearing.

The problem isn’t that no one wants men to be a part of the whole picture. It lies wholly in the interest of ungodly. Ungodly prejudice.

Ungodly rituals of divorce.

Ungodly lust offerings from one parent to the other. And finally ungodly reasoning by both parents.

I believe that everyone should be entitled to see, love and rear their children. But that would be too easy to dictate. So to make it further dictative, the system says when, who, how and why.

Faith will set you free alone or together we can all see freedom, but it won’t be through some ungodly court system.


So what we have here

So what we have here, offered as evidence, is a citation from a book by a notoriously dishonest feminist law professor – Mason – referring to another citation by a notoriously dishonest feminist sociologist referring to an un cited study in Massachusetts and a newspaper article. Weitzman, of course, is the source of the widely-cited claim that female standards of living decline 74 percent after divorce, while male standards of living increase by 23 percent. When Weitzman’s data were examined by Richard Peterson, he found that her data didn’t support her claims, or anything close to them. She blamed a programmer at Stanford for messing them up, which didn’t explain why it took her more than 10 years to turn them over to Dr. Peterson, or anyone else, for review.

The reality is that when taxes are taken into consideration – something Weitzman didn’t do – men’s and women’s standards of living both declined by approximately 10 percent at the time of Weitzman’s study, some 20 years ago. Changes in child support guidelines and liberalization of spousal support policies have since reversed the trends she reported. […]

The Massachusetts “study” was a report by that state’s Gender Bias Commission based on largely anecdotal evidence. The Gender Bias Commission considered an award of sole or joint custody – even joint legal custody – as a victory for the father, and only considered awards of sole custody as victories for the mother. They rationalized this as reasonable given that women generally asked for sole custody, while men generally asked for joint custody. So if mom has primary custody, but dad gets to visit every other weekend, the case goes into the pile of 70 percent victories for dad. Most dads I know wouldn’t consider that a victory.

[…] [W]orking mothers often lose custody to stay-at-home or less-working fathers, because the courts are supposed to award custody to the “primary caretaker.” The irony of this dynamic is that the “primary caretaker” standard was legislated by pro-feminist interest groups to ensure that women would win custody most of the time after the old gender-based standards were struck down.

Actually, there is not only no credible evidence to suggest that fathers win custody. The more important dynamic is the number of fathers who want custody, but are discouraged from litigating by the (anti-male) gender bias of the family court. Even the numbers you’ve cited say that 32 percent of fathers want custody, but less than 10 percent ask for it in court.


Well my son is 9

Well my son is 9 I dont know what the age limit is in IL it might be 12??

How did you convince the judge to speak with your children???

P.S. I agree with you on coaching, She does all the coaching, and my son informed me ON HIS OWN that he told his lawyer that.

I told him just speak your mind, and just tell the truth…

But what do you think I should do about the Psy exam, I have not seen it yet, but I thought the exam was bias.


You said your son wants to live with you

How old is your son? Find out if he is old enough to tell the court himself of what he wants to do.

On my trial, both my children were under the age limit. My son was 2 years too young and my daughter was 3.5 years too young.

My lawyer and I were able to convince the Judge to speak to the children by requesting that the Judge have a COMPLETELY PRIVATE converstaion with them behind CLOSED DOORS. We stipulated that neither the mother, myself, or either one of the lawyers could be present.

The judge felt that it was fair since the children are not put on the stand and do not have to face MOM or DAD while the judge speaks with them. The conversation took place in the judges office and only the judge and bailif were present. The conversation was held strictly confidential and no comments were made of what was discussed.

One more thing, I asked the judge to order the mother and all relatives and myself and all my relatives to never question the children with regards of what was discussed. We were all to act as if it never happened. If anyone would question the children they were to be found immediately in contempt of court.

The conversation took place and so my children even though they were younger than allowed, had their say on the matter.

PS: If anyone pursues this for their case, MAKE SURE that without realizing it you DO NOT indirectly coach the children to say what YOU want. Remember, if the judge asks, Did your Dad talk to you about what to tell me? and the child says YES. You kissed this chance good bye.

Good Luck and I hope you can use this in some way, it worked for me, I have my children with me already.


At the end of my rope in Chicago…

This looks like a great group, and maybe someone might have some advice. I will try to keep this as short as I can.

I was divorced 2 years ago and after much fighting got joint custody of my son. (that unfortunately is a complete joke) My ex got residential. It was said that if she did not receive some sort of therapy, that custody should be transferred to myself. (that was per the court psychologist)Now during the last two years that has not happened, also she has abused our son physically, and mentally. She has not given him his basic needs, food proper clothing, homework etc. I also pay 800 a month in support, plus medical and dental. she has used none of these things for our son. The police have been at her house 9 times with in the last year, due to domestic violence. There is much more, but you get the point. She has tried to teach our son to hate me using all the tricks, but I have played cool thus far and it back fired on her. also she treats him like crap and is VERY intimidating.

Last April for whatever reason she informed me over the phone (while my son was over) that she wanted him to live with me, and if I could just switch the visitation with her. I agreed of course. 1 month passes (and I am still paying support). I am short of money so I go to https://www.mtploans.com/ and take out one of their installment loans for bad credit, I find an affordable lawyer to switch the residual custody for us, and when I take him to see his mother on mothers day she would not return him, saying that he never lived with me etc,etc. Sooo 7 months later and we are still in court. she was able to come up with cash to higher an attorney (she hasn’t worked in 10 years)

My attorney is over worked, our son has stated over and over to his court appt. public guardian that he wants to move back in with me, and all the other stuff he has been going through. (she still has done nothing) and now we went to yet another psy exam, this time I had to pay for it.

This person was very bad at her job, she had us meet at the same time and was busy answering her phone while I was trying to talk. After the first visit my ex punched me in the face in the Psy lobby, I called the police and made a report and went to the hospital. This person only spoke with my son for about 3 mins with her door open and his mom standing right there.

So he did not get a chance to speak his mind at all. Also this person informed me that if I took my ex to court over her hitting me, that she would put in her report that I dont want to “work” things out with her, frigging black male….So I have my son in a bad household, he wants to live with me, and I have very detailed documentation. BUT NO ONE IS LISTENING!!!!

I have court on the 28th and my lawyer hasn’t returned my calls for 3 weeks……Can anyone help with anything. I would be in your debt.


We are still able to take ourselves down

domestic violenceWe are still able to take ourselves down a few notches and realize that we are more needed in the trenches than the halls of Congress. There are plenty of groups trailing the halls, one more or less is not going to hurt anything. But, one more father chased from him home, leaving children in the care of an abusive mother, hurts a lot. We need to be in the trenches, fighting for those children, no matter what it takes. Do we really think those children care about the fact that we are trying to change the laws?

No, they are wondering why their fathers have gone away, and why a mother hits them every time they mention wanting to see their father. They need our help now, not later. That is why we are building this shelter, because I do not want to feel responsible for another child being hit, when there is something I could do to prevent it.

And with hope, and some luck, next year there will be something to be thankful for. Thankful knowing that there will be a few less children in pain. Maybe prevent another case like the Bass boy of Kansas City, whose mother abused and tortured them until two fo the triplet boys were dead, and the third was left with life long scares. If there was one of these facilities, two years ago, for Leonard Bass, than those boys would be alive today.

But they are not, and who knows what they could have been in twenty years? That is what we must change, even if we are only saving one child at a time. For that child will be an adult one day. An adult who will look back and remember that someone thought they were important enough to save. And for that, they will be thankful on this day.


I continue to applaud your efforts

differenceIt made me think of a story i saw a while back.

I have added it below.

I am not sure just what help I can be, being a struggling, divorced FATHER of two great boys in MN. (things are getting better!)

I see my boys a great deal and even though their mother is a troubled, vindictive person, I have a great relationship with my boys without ever disparaging their mother.

It has come at a great financial and emotional price, but they are worth every dime/thought!!!

I wish I could be more financially supportive but anything I can do from MN. let me know

You are providing a greatly needed service.

P.S. Fathers are needed in their children’s lives and we do love our kids!!

WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!

THE STAR THROWER
I awoke early, as I often did, just before sunrise, to walk by the ocean’s edge and greet the new day. As I moved through the misty dawn, I focused on a faint, far away motion. I saw a youth bending and reaching and flailing arms, dancing on the beach, no doubt in celebration of the perfect day soon to begin.

As I approached, I sadly realized that the youth was not dancing to the day, but rather bending to sift through the debris left by the night’s tide, stopping now and then to pick up a starfish and heave it back into the sea. I asked the youth the purpose of the effort. ‘The tide has washed the starfish onto the beach and they cannot return to the sea’.

As the youth explained, I surveyed the vast expanse of beach, stretching in both directions beyond my sight. Starfish littered the shore in numbers beyond calculation. The hopelessness of the youth’s plan became clear to me and I countered, ‘But there are more starfish on this beach than you can ever save before the sun is up. Surely you cannot expect to make a difference.’

The youth paused briefly to consider my words, bent to pick up a starfish and threw it as far as possible.Turning to me he simply said, ‘I made a difference to that one’.


Men in the system

Here’s an interesting question worth exploring:

“How can the judicial and legal system, which has a majority of men who also happen to be fathers, be so biased against their own gender?”

Most of the judges on the bench, the legislatures who are creating the laws, even many of the support personnel (such as police) who oversee the enforcement of the law are also fathers.

Add to that, why are female police officers more likely to see through a false allegation of Domestic Violence, made by a woman, and also is most likely to be the one to arrest a woman fro domestic violence. Men can be push overs.

For an opposing viewpoint regarding the “Father’s Right Movement” http://www.thelizlibrary.org/site-index/site-index-frame.html#soulhttp://www.thelizlibrary.org/liz/FRtactic.html

It’s rather long, and contains obviously biased statements, but it has some very interesting observations. The writer also pays close attention to legal tactics employed by some fathers in court. Despite its feminist rhetoric, it’s worth reading…

A surprising remark from that article:

‘The most powerful way the women’s movement can eradicate the extremist politics preached by the Father’s Rights movement is to encourage those men who are willing to learn to be more nurturing parents to do so and vigorously protect the rights of men fulfilling their parental roles.’


Mom had a laundry list of complaints against Dad

Mom had a laundry list of complaints against Dad: me. Dangerous, poor judgment, abusive, blah, blah, blah. PhD licensed psychologist interviews child, 7, female, who does not corroborate one iota of what Mom alleges. The kids are pawns but they are smarter than the experts.

Child kept away from Dad except for four times a month, after a year of this, child gets to spend 5 days at home with Dad.

Within 5 hours of her return to Mom I get a call from a crying child stating that she misses Dad. So much for wonderful Mommy. Let the children go! African-Americans were freed in the 50s, women in the workplace in the 70s, its the kids turn to be free.


Links on that subject

Links on that subject: http://www.thelizlibrary.org/

In another article, Myers states: ‘There is increasing skepticism regarding children’s credibility. Three sources of this skepticism are discussed. First, the popular media is increasingly skeptical of a child witnesses. Whereas press coverage of child victims during the 1980s was largely positive, coverage during the 1990s indicates increasing doubt about children’s credibility. Second, some writers in the psychological literature portray children in an unnecessarily negative light, contributing to unwarranted skepticism. Third, the 1994 decision in State v. Michaels is likely to exaggerate doubts about children’s memory and suggestibility.’

Source:
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/innocence/readings/myers.html

If you have personal experience with a child’s testimony in court (or indirect testimony via a psychologist or social worker), please lead a discussion here at this forum on that matter.


Open letter to Professor John EB Myers

I am incensed by the outrageous comments you made in your letter to John Gardner and by your support of the psychologists who do not believe that the sociopathic and alienating behavior of some mothers does not have a negative impact on their children.

You do not believe that mothers make false accusations regarding abuse. My ex girlfriend made accusations in court under oath that I had beaten her in front of our small child. I have tape recordings of her made before our trial in which she affirms that she will do everything in her power to **** me and not let me have contact with our daughter. She admits on tape that her allegations of abuse are false. She is now being tried on felony charges of perjury.

Studies of social behavior carried out by psychiatrists and psychologists are NOT an exact science. For every study you show me that there is no link between father’s involvement in a child’s life and that child’s well being, I will show you another that shows there is. You need to look at the hard evidence produced in individual cases to see that there is a real problem with relationships between fathers and children being destroyed because of some, I stress, some mothers’ behavior. What about in situations where the father is encouraged to take part in his children’s lives but chooses to continue with a new life and abandon his children? What is a mother supposed to say to a child who misses his father and longs for him to give him even a little of his time? “Sorry son, but the hurt and pain you feel don’t really exist because there is no empirical evidence to confirm that they do”?!? It does not take an expert in psychology to see that some of the beliefs of your school of thought are unadulterated garbage.

After months of being prevented from seeing my four year old daughter by her mother, I finally obtained a visit with her. I took her to a park, where she played with some friends. When I approached the children, my daughter grabbed my hand and proudly said to her friends, “THIS is my dad”. You think I am expendable? Ask my daughter.

I am an adult and can handle negative comments made against me by my ex girlfriend. What I cannot stand are the negative comments drilled into my daughter. What good does any negativity of any kind do a child? The pushing away of a father and the methods used don’t affect the child, you say? Since when is negative positive?

Regarding your comments on Gardner’s remark that “there is a little pedophilia in all of us”, Sigmund Freud was branded as depraved and unstable when he formulated his ideas on the existence of the Edipus complex. His work was only a beginning of the investigation into the depths of the subconscious which has now become the basis of modern psychology, accepted by the scientific community and supposedly by yourself. This investigation is far from complete and will undoubtedly reveal more findings which you, as did your 19th century counterparts, will also consider “distasteful”.

Even if Gardner is not correct in this particular assertion, this does not discredit his other findings. To draw a parallel, I am an accountant by trade. On a company report I once made a mistake in the consolidation of accounts which were presented in a board meeting. This does not mean that all my work is invalid and that I am unemployable due to incompetence.

I am disgusted that a professional such as yourself would make such irresponsible generalizations regarding the entire spectrum of fatherhood and the relationships that it encompasses. As a father experiencing the very real consequences of parental alienation, I am qualified to comment on this issue. You, however, are not.

David Every


Asking members for money?

I don’t feel that its right to ask members of this blog for money….period. I think its a great idea to start a shelter for abused men and children, but there is a process for doing this. The shelter should be a registered non-profit organization with IRS 501C(3) tax status, so the contributions are tax deductible and trackable.

A group of us are in the process of doing research with the hope of opening a shelter for abused men/children in our town within the next year. It will take time to apply for non-profit status and 501C3. Once this is done, we will be legit and it will be OK to ask for donations.

I don’t recommend sending money to an organization that is not yet legal and legitimate.


Here are a few of the reasons

Here are a few of the reasons why she took me to court trying to get a few more dollars from me.

  1. One time I had a job working for the county and after taxes and CS, I was taking home about $150 per week. I needed more money, so anytime there was over time offered, I took it. Somehow she found out about all my over time and she took me to court for her share of that money…and she got it. Then I had to pay more CS even if I didn’t work over time.
  2. I had bought some land before I even met my ex. We did nothing to it during our whole marriage, and I still owned it after we separated. I needed money, so I sold it at a lower price than I bought it for. The guy I sold it didn’t have the money so I agreed to take interest free payments for four years. My ex took me to court because I was getting a monthly check for this land. The courts considered it “income” and I had to give her her share of it.
  3. I am an ex navy nuke. I graduated from navy nuclear power school and operated reactors on a nuclear aircraft carrier for 6 years. Because of my divorce and the depression that I went through, I lost any chance of getting into this field after I got out of the navy. However, my ex took me to court trying to get more money because I “had potential”. She wanted support based on $90K when I have never made more than $20K in one year. My average income since I have been divorced has probably been around $5K per year.
  4. I used to work for an apartment complex as a rental agent. I worked 6 days a week and took home $46 after taxes and CS. It wasn’t much, but at least I had a roof over my head. She took me to court because she wanted me to pay on my rent and utilities. The court did decide that my rent and utilities were a part of my income and I had to pay more support because of it.
  5. Since I needed more money, I started a painting business at the apartments that I worked. I only have a couple of hundred dollars more a month, but she took me to court for that money too..and won.

When my employer found out they had to take more CS out because of the painting, they refused to give me any more work and I finally got laid off. Not only did I lose my job, but I also lost my place to live. I collected unemployment (but they didn’t include my rent and utilities as income) but that was only $50 per week after CS.

That’s when I decided I had enough. I could never win. I had no job, no place to live, no money, no vehicle, went into a deep depression again, and didn’t know what to do. My doctor told me to get out of town and start over again.

That’s been two years since then. I still have no vehicle, no job, no license, no life, and I haven’t seen or heard my sones in all this time. I live is a small room and this is where I say all day long. I go out and work under the table to make enough to pay for this room and buy some food. This is no life.

So now I’m back to square one again. Where do I go from here? I can’t get enough money to afford an attorney because I can’t even work on the books or they will find me. I don’t have any money to pay any “purge” or bail. I don’t have any money to pay my ex on a “good faith gesture” as some have suggested. I can’t keep living like this because this is no life. And the biggest thing that is driving me for answers is the fact that I can’t see my sons until this is all straightened out. They aren’t getting any younger and you can’t turn back time.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.